


Side by Side

by Krickis



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Drama, F/F, Gender Identity, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Slice of Life, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8495920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krickis/pseuds/Krickis
Summary: Applejack and Matte Palette were best friends when they were younger. Like her, the poor colt doesn’t seem to have much in common with kids his own gender, so they formed an unlikely duo. The two were inseparable, right up until Applejack moved to live with the Orange side of her family, and the childhood friends fail to keep in touch.But time passes, and Applejack returns to Ponyville. Her biggest hope is to pick up where she left off, and that includes her friendship with Matte Palette. Something seems different about him, though.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dessert](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Dessert).



> Cover art by [Dessert](http://sweetponytreat.tumblr.com/)

“Just hold still, would you?”

“Ugh, this is taking forever…”

In actuality, it was taking all of fifteen minutes. But in all fairness, to a ten-year-old that _felt_ like forever. Especially since Applejack hated having her mane brushed. It was a chore made worse by the fact that the rambunctious filly never put forth even the most minimal amount of effort to keep her mane neat, leading to far too many knots which needed to be worked out. For anypony else, she would have refused.

“This is dumb, it’s just gonna get messed up again,” Applejack protested.

“Then I guess I'll just have to brush it again.” And that did it. Even for her best friend, Applejack could only put up with so much. She stood up and turned to face the snow-white unicorn. “Applejack, I was almost –”

“No way, no how,” Applejack said adamantly. “Once is more than enough. Besides, I really don’t see what it matters. Nopony but you even cares about my mane, Matte.”

Matte Palette gave Applejack a bemused look. “I’m sure your mother does,” he said.

“Yeah, well I don’t see why it matters if she does, since she’s not gonna be home until later anyway.” Applejack frowned, not wanting to admit that Matte Palette had a point.

His smile suggested he knew anyway. “Don’t worry, I won’t have to brush your mane again. Just let me finish.”

Applejack yielded, hoping to just get it over with. Matte Palette finished quickly, but before she could stand up, he bunched her mane together and fixed a red hair tie to it. “There, that ought to hold it in place. What do you think?”

Applejack looked in the mirror and shrugged. It was better than the bow her mom was always trying to get her to wear, at least. “I think you might get your cutie mark in hairdressin’ at this rate.”

Although he was never as dumb as the other colts, sometimes Matte Palette would still force her to remember that he was indeed a colt. His awkward, almost nervous grin was doing a fine job at that. “What? No, I mean, well… That’s a mare thing.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. Mare, stallion, she didn’t really see why it mattered to everypony so much. “You’re the one who’s always goin’ through my clothes to make new outfits.”

The comment seemed to snap Matte Palette out of his awkwardness, and into annoyance. He folded his forelegs and turned his head away. “You just have so many nice clothes, and you _never_ wear any of them!”

The argument was old, and Applejack had long since learned not to bother. In fact, she usually indulged his wishes to see her dress up in some colorful combination of his choosing, although she was far from interested in it. She _was_  interested in seeing him happy, however, and the poor colt didn’t have too many other friends. Most colts weren’t interested in being friends with somepony who could be so downright girly, and truthfully Matte Palette never seemed interested in being friends with them either. The fillies were a different story. Matte was always trying to befriend them, but it rarely worked out for him. Some of them just didn’t want to be friends with a colt, others saw his interest in filly clothes as ‘perverted’.

So, if for no other reason than nopony else would, Applejack often played along. But she was still somewhat irritated at how long he made her sit through getting her mane brushed, so she decided to not be so hospitable. “If you like them so much, why don’t _you_  try wearin’ ‘em for a change?”

By the way he blushed, it seemed like he might have taken her seriously. “Come on, that’s dumb.”

Applejack smiled as the perfect revenge presented itself. “Come on, I dare ya. Try on _one_  outfit.”

“I’m not going to dress like a filly just because you dared me to.” Matte Palette kept his gaze away from Applejack’s eyes, and his blush remained prominent.

“Okay,” Applejack said with a shrug. “So I was thinkin’ we could try and get our cutie marks as chimney sweeps!”

There was a noticeable pause. “Chimney sweeps?”

“Yup! We ain’t tried that yet!” Applejack had been saving that threat for a while, and this seemed like as good of a time as any to use it.

“That sounds… dirty.”

Applejack put her hooves on her hips. “Hey, it’s my turn to pick, and I want to try chimney sweeping.” She paused for a moment while Matte Palette looked defeated. They never argued about each other’s cutie mark ideas. “Course, we also ain’t never tried gettin’ our cutie marks in fashion. But there ain’t no way _I’m_ gonna be gettin’ all dressed up, so I guess that don’t matter none.”

Apprehension flashed across Matte’s face. “Well… I guess if you’re the only pony who sees me…”

Applejack grinned. This was gonna be good. Matte slowly walked over to Applejack’s dresser and opened it, staring contemplatively at the clothes. Suddenly his demeanor changed, his whole body standing at attention as he came up with an idea. Rather than pull anything out though, he shooed Applejack out of her room.

Although she huffed in annoyance, Applejack left without further complaint. But as the minutes passed, she couldn’t help but feel like this too was taking forever. She tried to open the door once, only to have it slam shut as the colt screeched her name. She sat silently glaring at the door for the rest of the time, hoping that the sight would be worthwhile in the end.

Eventually, the door opened slightly. “Uhm, it’s still just you, right?” Matte asked through the crack.

“Yeah, it’s just me,” Applejack said, pushing the door open. She stepped through and found Matte hiding behind it, where nopony passing through the hall could happen to see.

She should have laughed. It was what she had wanted, after all. Better, actually. She hadn’t ever said he had to wear a dress, of all things. He’d also taken the time to style his mane differently, adding an apple shaped hair clip to pin it to the side.

“Well?” he asked nervously. “What do you think?”

Applejack was aware that this was the part where she was supposed to laugh, her revenge complete. But she didn’t laugh. There was something about the sight that made her feel… she didn’t really know what she felt like. He looked, well, he looked kind of like a colt in a dress. But he looked kind of like something else, too. Not really a filly, but… something. It wasn’t just the dress either, but somehow he didn’t seem to carry himself like a colt. Or had that always been the case, and Applejack had just never noticed?

“You, uh…” Applejack blushed a little, although nowhere near as much as Matte Palette did. “You look a lot better in that than I do.”

 

* * *

 

 

Applejack often thought about that day in the following years. She’d think about it when she looked into the mirror, or when she was lying awake in bed. After her parents passed away, she moved away from Ponyville and Matte Palette, but she brought the memory with her.

And on the trip home, she thought about it some more. She knew she should have kept in touch with Matte better while she lived in Manehattan, but promises to write every week fell through quickly. They transitioned from middle school to high school, and friends they saw every day got lost in the shuffle. No matter how close they had been, letters just weren’t enough to keep them together.

Applejack resolved to get back in touch with Matte Palette once she caught up with her family. At least see how he was doing these days. She worried about the way she’d left him behind; he didn’t have many other friends to fall back on.

 _‘I’m sure he’s fine,’_ Applejack thought, not for the first time. He had to be doing better than her, in any case. She’d left her family and everypony else she knew behind, and now she could hardly expect to just pick up where she’d left off.

As the train pulled into the station, Applejack tried her best to calm her nerves. It was silly, really. Her family knew she was coming, and they sure sounded excited in their letters. Still, there was part of her that couldn’t help but be afraid. She’d left them. It had been hard on all them, but only Applejack had run away. Sure, she knew they were happy she was home, but what if they were also angry with her?

If they were angry, they’d be angry. That was all there was to it, and she could hardly blame them. Sitting in the train for another few minutes wasn’t going to fix anything, so she might as well face the day. She stood up, gathered her bags, and followed the crowd out of the car.

As soon as she stepped into the sunlight, her worries vanished. Her family was looking around for her, and without giving it another thought she ran to them. She thought she’d take Big Mac by surprise with her hug, but he saw her at the last minute and grabbed her instead, squeezing so tight she worried she’d be bruised.

“Okay, okay, I missed you too, Mac.”

He let her go, slightly embarrassed, only for Granny Smith to take her turn. “Come here, you!” If Applejack thought Big Mac’s hug was too hard, Granny Smith’s was definitely worse. “Welcome home.”

“Thanks, Granny,” Applejack said as she willed away tears. “I can’t believe I ever left in the first place.” As Granny let go, she noticed one more Apple, hiding behind her brother. “Is that Apple Bloom? When did you get so big?”

Big Mac pushed the youngest Apple out from behind him, and she looked up at her with big orange eyes. Applejack kneeled down to meet her properly. “Hey there, Apple Bloom. I know ya can’t possibly remember me, but I’m your big sister, Applejack.”

Apple Bloom looked to Granny Smith first, before turning back to Applejack. Slowly she smiled, then lunged forward to give Applejack another, much softer hug. “I get a new sister!” the little filly exclaimed, and Applejack knew that nothing would ever make her leave again.

The four of them laughed and talked about what had happened while Applejack was gone. Nopony even really seemed concerned with leaving the station for a while, but eventually Granny Smith declared it was time to get some ‘real food’ in Applejack’s belly, which Applejack herself couldn’t agree more with.

They were walking away when they heard a pony running frantically behind them. “Oh, I do hope I’m not too late,” a filly’s voice muttered. “Confound it, if she’s already gone then…” The voice and the hoofsteps stopped somewhere behind her, and Applejack turned to see who it was.

What she had initially taken for a filly turned out to be an oddly soft-voiced colt. He was a white unicorn, who seemed to be growing out his purple mane. “Applejack?”

Applejack blinked a few times, then grinned. “Matte? Matte Palette? What are you doin’ here?”

Matte smiled and took a step closer, though he was still a good distance away. “Well when Granny Smith told me that you were coming back, I simply had to see you. I’m so glad that you’re still here, I know I’m a bit late.”

Applejack quickly closed the distance between them and hugged Matte before he could protest. “Aww, shucks, it’s nice seein’ you too. I was, uh, I was thinkin’ about you on the way over, actually. I was plannin’ on paying you a visit now that I’m back.”

As they pulled away, Matte was smiling. “I have no doubt. You always have been such a great friend to me.”

Applejack snickered. “What’s with the way you’re talkin’, though?” As soon as she said it, Matte looked embarrassed, and Applejack realized he thought she meant how high pitched his voice was. “I mean, you sound like one of them stuffy ponies I just left back in Manehattan.”

Matte seemed relieved at that, which he showed by faking annoyance. “I’ll have you know that us stuffy ponies all talk like this, no matter which part of Equestria we’re in,” he said, causing Applejack to laugh. “I see no reason why I have to talk like the other ponies in Ponyville anyway.”

“Fair enough,” Applejack said, then realized Granny Smith was staring at her. She looked back at her grandma quizzically.

“Applejack, don’t tell me ya left yer manners back in Manehattan,” she chided. “Ain’t ya gonna invite yer friend to dinner?”

“Of course, Granny,” Applejack said with a smile to suggest she’d planned on doing that all along. “So, Matte, we’re about to go back to Sweet Apple Acres for dinner. The more the merrier, if ya care to join us.”

“Well, I, uh, I certainly would hate to intrude on your family time,” Matte said.

“Nonsense!” Applejack began guiding him along. “We’d be happy to have you.”

“Well, if you insist.”

Applejack did insist, so they found themselves as a group of five. They made a quick stop by Matte’s house to tell his parents where he was going, and then made their way to the farm.

Every step was better than Applejack could imagine. It was all just as she remembered it, just the way she liked it. It was home, and it was made better than she could have imagined by the time she’d spent away.

While Granny Smith toiled away in the kitchen, the kids amused themselves by playing with Apple Bloom. Big Mac showed them Apple Bloom’s favorite games, while Applejack just awkwardly tried her best to figure out what she was supposed to do around a three-year-old.

Matte Palette didn’t seem to have that problem. He was a natural, and Apple Bloom took to him immediately. When asked, he said it was because he had a sister around Apple Bloom’s age.

“So, uh, got any advice?” Applejack asked while Big Mac was keeping Apple Bloom busy.

“Oh, children aren’t so hard,” Matte said. “You just have to learn the magic words.”

“And what’s that?”

Matte cleared his throat and sat up straight, before lunging forward in a defensive position. “Sweetie Belle! Get out of my room!”

Applejack laughed, both at the joke and how odd it sounded to hear Matte raise his voice. It was the first time all day he had actually sounded like a colt. “What d’ya say, Big Mac? Sound like good advice?”

Big Mac arched an eyebrow at Apple Bloom, who was smiling innocently. “Eyup.”

Applejack laughed again, but stopped when she realized Matte Palette wasn’t laughing. He had a hoof over his mouth and looked embarrassed. “Uh, is everything –”

“Dinner’s ready!” Granny Smith called from the kitchen.

“Comin’!” Applejack called back.

When she turned to Matte again, he smiled as if nothing was wrong. “What was that, Applejack?” he asked, his voice returning to its usual soft-spoken tone.

It dawned on Applejack that he didn’t just have a high pitch voice, he actively went out of his way to sound like that. “It’s nothin’. Now come on, I’m starvin’!”

The dinner was the best Applejack could remember. Apple family recipes were simply the best around, and Granny Smith was simply the best at cooking them. While they ate, Applejack told them about Manehattan, and what living there had been like. While her family understood how she felt immediately, Matte Palette seemed a little envious. Still, he understood that even though _he_  would have liked it there, Applejack had been miserable, and he seemed happy to have her back.

Maybe picking up where she left off wasn’t going to be as impossible as she thought it would be.

 

* * *

 

 

Weeks passed in bliss. Applejack felt silly for ever worrying about her family. They welcomed her back as if she had never left, and she and Apple Bloom had become practically inseparable.

Practically, but on occasion they still had reason to be apart. Applejack was enjoying an uncharacteristically solitary stroll through Ponyville, just reacquainting herself with the town. She was thankful to see little had changed. It was just the way she liked it.

She was walking through the park when she heard a familiar voice. “What are you saying, darling?”

That was Matte Palette, and he sounded upset. Applejack strolled closer to see if she could help at all, although she kept some distance, wary of butting into her friend’s business unasked.

Matte was talking to a maroon colt, who shifted his weight nervously. “It’s just, you know… I’m, well, I thought you were…”

Matte sighed. “I understand. It’s… it’s alright. I’ll just –”

“Howdy, y’all!” Applejack approached them. She knew if she waited any longer that Matte might run off, and she couldn’t have that. If she chased him, she’d have to explain that she had just stood around and listened in while she knew he was upset.

Neither of the colts seemed thrilled with her arrival. “Applejack? What are you doing here?” Matte asked.

“I was just passing through when I heard y’all talkin’.” Applejack smiled at the two of them, and found neither of them seemed like smiling back. “Er, am I interruptin’ something?”

“I, uh, I should actually get going,” the other colt said. “I’ll, uhm… I’ll see you around then.”

Matte just nodded and turned away as he left. Applejack waited for more, but the normally outgoing colt didn’t say anything to her.

“So, uh, he was a friend of yours?” Applejack guessed.

“Something like that,” Matte said. He sighed deeply and began to walk off.

Although she knew he might want to be alone, he didn’t say so, so Applejack followed him. “I, er…” She was never good at this sort of thing.

Matte stopped in place for a moment, then turned back with a smile on his face. “It’s quite alright. Yes, that was a friend of mine. Or, well, he was. I’m… not really sure what we are now. But there’s no need to concern yourself, I will be just fine.”

Applejack blinked at the sudden shift while her mind caught up enough to form a response. “Oh, uh, okay.” She shook her head. “No, hold on, that’s not okay! What happened? Maybe I can help?”

Matte let out a single mirthless laugh and smiled sadly. “No, Applejack. This isn’t something you can help with. It’s… well, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Now hold on,” Applejack grinned. “You should know better by now. You can’t just say I can’t do something and not expect me to prove you wrong.”

Matte shook his head, but his smile grew a little bigger and a little more authentic. “Oh yes, whatever was I thinking?”

“Ya weren’t,” Applejack answered. “You gonna tell me what’s eatin’ at ya, or am I gonna have to force it out of you?”

“Oh, don’t be such a brute. Honestly now, there’s no need for that.”

Applejack grinned. “Oh, I didn’t say _how_ I was gonna force it out of you.”

Matte regarded her skeptically. “What do you mean by that?”

Applejack bowed her head before looking back up with the best pouty face she could manage. “Please, Matte… I just hate to see you so down, and I’d really like to help ya if you let me.”

For a moment, Matte Palette seemed to be genuinely endeared by Applejack’s sentiment. Only for a moment though, and then he burst into laughter. “Oh, Applejack! You really are something else.”

Whatever else happened, at least she made him smile. “Yeah, well… so you gonna tell me or not?”

Matte looked around for a moment, then sighed. “I may as well get it over with. You’d find out from somepony sooner or later, I’m sure, if you haven’t figured it out already. But perhaps we could go somewhere a little more private?”

Applejack nodded. “Sure thing. Let’s head back to Sweet Apple Acres.”

“That sounds lovely.” Matte fell in step behind Applejack as they walked. Although she was still worried about her friend, he seemed to be in better spirits.

“So I guess I’m pretty bad at the puppy dog eyes, huh?” Applejack asked as they walked.

“Yes, but I appreciate the attempt.”

“Well, I had to try somethin’,” Applejack said. “It’s not like I can just threaten you with huntin’ for chimney sweep cutie marks no more.”

Matte chuckled at the memory. “Funny you should mention that day, actually.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

At first he didn’t say anything. Applejack wondered if he was going to. Once Matte had taken off the dress, they never actually talked about it. There were plenty of times Applejack wanted to, but she never really found the right words.

Eventually, Matte did reply. “It’s… I think about that day a lot.”

Applejack nodded. “Yeah, me too, actually.”

Matte wouldn’t talk much for the rest of the trip, and Applejack couldn’t help but think that she had said the wrong thing. When she asked him something directly, he’d give a simple answer.

Yes, it was a nice day out.

No, he hadn’t been to the new bakery yet.

He didn’t seem to have much else to say.

They were well into the Sweet Apple Acres property by the time Applejack decided it was safe to readdress the matter at hoof. “So, uh… what was it that you were gonna tell me?”

Matte looked at her for a moment, clearly apprehensive. He looked like he might have changed his mind, and Applejack was tempted to tell him they should just not worry about it. But she didn’t, and she couldn’t have said why not.

“The pony I was talking to…” Matte paused for a while. Applejack took a seat next to him, close enough that they were almost touching. Matte took a deep breath to steel his nerves. “He was, well, he was my coltfriend. Emphasis on ‘was’, since it seems that he isn’t any longer.”

Applejack frowned and wondered why she hadn’t caught on to that earlier. She pulled Matte into a sideways hug. “Aww, shucks. I’m real sorry to hear about that.”

Matte laughed a little. “This… isn’t exactly how I thought you’d take that news, actually.”

Applejack smiled. “Uh, no offense, but you bein’ gay isn’t really all that surprising.”

When she started the hug, Matte just sat still and allowed himself to be hugged. But with the affirmation that his friend accepted him, he finally returned it. “Thank you so much, Applejack. I’ve been so worried about telling you, since, well…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Don’t worry about us none though. The Apples may be old-fashioned, but we’re not _that_  out of touch.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean… Well, that’s not the _only_  thing I meant,” Matte said, pulling away from Applejack. “You’re… very important to me, Applejack. You’ve always been so supportive of me, and I’d hate to let you down.”

“And you won’t,” Applejack insisted. “Certainly not for somethin’ like this.”

Matte Palette nodded, but didn’t seem as comforted by the knowledge as Applejack thought he would be. _‘Of course,’_ she reasoned, _‘his coltfriend just broke up with him.’_  She decided to try cheering him up a bit before continuing. “And you know, you’re important to me, too.”

“Well aren’t you sweet,” Matte said, with only the slightest hint of sarcasm.

“I’m serious,” Applejack said. “I was pretty nervous about what would happen once I got back to Ponyville, but it wasn’t so bad with you around. Course, havin’ my family back together is great, but it still woulda been hard without a friend who was willin’ to forget about how long I was away.”

Matte shook his head, but he was smiling. “You give me far too much credit. Anypony would have come running at a chance to have a friend like you back in their life.”

Applejack smirked. “Not just anypony. Friends like you are a real rarity.”

Matte chuckled. “A rarity? Careful, Applejack, go around talking like that and you’re sure to have colts lining up at your door for the chance to win your heart.”

“I can’t say I see that happening, but at least I don’t have to worry about you none.”

“Well, uh…” Matte laughed nervously. “I’m… not actually gay. I like both, actually. Fillies and colts. Oh! Not that I meant you have to worry about me falling for you or anything!” Before Applejack could answer, Matte threw his hooves over his mouth. “I mean, not that I’m saying you’re not attractive or something, because of course you are, but I – damn it, why did I say that? What I mean is –”

“Matte,” Applejack cut him off. “Slow down, I get what you’re saying.” All Matte could do was nod. Well, nod and blush furiously. He seemed rather adept at doing both. Applejack chuckled. “Well, that’s gotta make it easier to find somepony new. Er, if you wanna find somepony new, that is.”

Matte inhaled as if to answer, then stopped short. He let it out as a sigh while Applejack cocked her head to the side. “It should, but it doesn’t. I may like fillies and colts, but neither fillies nor colts really seem to like me.”

“Aww, I’m sure that’s not really true,” Applejack said. “You’ve just gotta find the right pony!”

Matte smiled, but only briefly. “Thank you, Applejack. But it’s not that simple. See, the thing is, well… There are ponies who like mares, and ponies who like colts. But… nopony really likes ponies who are in between the two.”

“The ponies…” Applejack’s head snapped towards Matte.

Matte placed his head into his hooves. “See, I told you that you wouldn’t understand.”

“I do!” Applejack answered before she could think otherwise. Did she? She wasn’t sure, but she wanted to, desperately. “I mean, well, I haven’t really had a lot of time to try dating anypony, so maybe I don’t really know about that part. But I know what you mean about being, er… in between.”

That didn’t sound right, but it certainly made Matte happy. He seemed to be suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as he threw his forelegs around Applejack. All she could do was awkwardly pat his back as she tried to figure out what she’d just said, exactly.

“Oh, I can see it now! Of course, it’s always been there, hasn’t it?”

“Uh, what’s that now?”

Matte giggled – actually giggled, rather than a regular laugh. “Well, you just said it. And with your rugged charm and physique, I must say you’d make a very handsome colt.”

Whatever she had thought she’d agreed to, that wasn’t it. “A… colt?”

Matte giggled again. Applejack had to admit, the feminine sound felt natural coming from the feminine colt. But all too soon, his expression shifted again, and he looked worried. “That, uh, that is what you meant, right? I mean to say, you understood what _I_  meant about being in between?”

Applejack turned away. She could hear the disappointment in Matte’s voice, and it made her disappointed in herself too. “I, uh, I don’t know… I thought I did…”

Matte placed a hoof on her shoulder. “You don’t want to be a colt, do you?”

“No, I can honestly say I never really wanted that at all.”

Matte nodded. “I see. I… I shouldn’t have assumed…”

Applejack scratched the back of her neck. “So then, does that mean that you, you know… want to be a filly?”

Silence was Matte Palette’s only answer.

“Well, just so you know, that don’t bother me none.”

Matte’s voice was quiet and full of doubt. “Really?”

“Well, I can’t say I understand why you’d want that, but that’s okay,” Applejack clasped him on the back. “You’re just Matte. Same as you’ve always been.”

When he looked up, there were tears in Matte’s eyes. “Oh, Applejack…” She once again found herself being on the receiving end of a sudden hug. “Thank you. Thank you so much!”

Applejack chuckled. “Hey, what are friends for?” All the hugging and abrupt mood swings seemed to be doing a number on Matte’s mane, so Applejack brushed it out of his face. It reminded her of when they were younger. “So, uh, that day when we were kids and you tried on my dress. Was that when you figured all that out?”

After so many years and the sudden revelation, Applejack had thought it was safe to finally talk about. But Matte still winced at the reminder, and his cheeks again began showing red through his white fur. “Well, not exactly… I mean, I had… thoughts before then. And it took me a while afterwards to know for sure how I felt about that day, but, well… it was certainly a turning point.”

Applejack nodded, happy to see her friend opening up about his experiences. “So then – and feel free to stop me if this is none of my business – but is that something you do now? Dress up in girly clothes?”

Matter’s expression was difficult to read. “I… no, I’ve never done that since then.”

“Well… why not? I don’t mean to pry, but, well… is it just that you don’t wanna, or is it because of what ponies would say?”

Matte frowned at the question and closed his eyes. “I don’t know.”

Applejack had figured as much. She stood up and nodded. “Right. Well, let’s get goin’ then.”

“Get going?” Matte asked.

“Yup. We’re gonna find out.”

“Find out… what, you mean about… cross dressing?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Applejack waited, but Matte Pallette made no move to follow her. “Or if you want, we could try gettin’ our cutie marks as chimney sweeps instead.”

Matte stared at her for a moment, before laughing as he stood up. He wiped his eyes and began following Applejack. His pace was slow, but they made their way towards the house.

“It was a huge relief, to get my cutie mark,” Matte said.

“Yeah, we both really wanted them,” Applejack said, smiling at the memory of all the things they’d tried to earn their cutie marks. It was funny to think that they only got them once they finally stopped trying.

“Yes, but it meant more than I would have ever thought. I was designing costumes for a school play at the time. It was a lot of fun, costume design. I can help ponies look their absolute best, and nopony questions why a colt would want to make costumes.” Applejack frowned but didn’t say anything. “When I got my cutie mark, it felt like validation of who I am.”

Applejack waited until she was sure that Matte was finished. “You, uh, really hate bein’ a colt, huh?”

Matte tilted his head to the side. “Why do you say that?”

“The way you said ‘colt’,” Applejack answered. Matte still looked confused, so she elaborated. “You said it like, ‘why a _colt_ would make costumes’.”

“I did _not_  say it like that,” Matte said, sounding half annoyed and half amused.

“Sure ya did,” Applejack insisted, smiling to show she wasn’t trying to make fun of Matte’s mannerisms.

“Hmph. Well, if you must know, I am not terribly fond of being a colt.” Matte remained high and mighty for a moment, before deflating to sound defeated. “Or rather, I absolutely abhor it…”

Applejack thought for a moment. She wanted to do anything she could to help her friend be happy, but she couldn’t change his body for him. She could do more than let him wear one of her dresses, though. “What if… well, I know it’s probably not much, but if you want, I’ll go along with you bein’ a filly.”

Matte smiled and rolled his eyes. “It hardly seems that simple.”

Applejack chose her words more carefully. She really didn’t know anything about this stuff. She wasn’t even sure where _she_  fit into all this, aside from not feeling like a colt. “I know I can’t just make all your other problems go away, but well, I guess what I meant isn’t that I’ll act like you’re a filly, but that if you want to be a filly, then that’s how I’ll think of you anyway.”

They were both quiet for a while. At first, Applejack thought she’d messed up and said the wrong thing, but when she looked at her friend, she saw Matte was smiling. “You… you really mean that?”

“Course I do,” Applejack said, smiling herself. “It’s like I said, one way or another you’re Matte Pallette to me. And if Matte Pallette is a filly? Well then, I guess she’s a filly.”

At the word ‘she’, Matte’s smile curled even wider. H– _She_  very cautiously and very nervously nuzzled Applejack’s cheek. “Thank you, Applejack. I can’t believe I could ever be so lucky to have a friend like you!”

Applejack smiled back at her. “Just don’t think this means I’m gonna get all girly with ya.”

Matte giggled. “Of course not.”

They made a quick stop to say ‘hi’ to Granny Smith once they reached the house, and then went straight for Applejack’s room.

Matte looked apprehensive, while Applejack looked in between her and the dresser. “Ya know, I’m fine with pickin’ out somethin’ for ya, but I gotta warn you that you’re much better off doing it yourself.”

Snapping out of her stupor, Matte giggled. “Oh, right.” She went rummaging through the clothes and found an outfit she liked. “I, uh, are you sure about this?”

“Well, why not?” Applejack asked. She walked over to the door. “Now normally I’d say there’s no point in leaving the room since we’re both fillies, but, well…”

Matte nodded. “Of course, I completely understand. Regardless of what we say, there’s simply no denying certain things.”

Applejack shook her head. “Nope, I was just thinkin’ I wanna see your big reveal all at once, rather than see it as you put it on. After the first dress, I don’t care one way or another ‘bout any of that other stuff if you don’t.”

Although she’d probably deny it if asked, Applejack couldn’t help but enjoy making Matte blush. She didn’t wait for an answer, and left the room.

While she waited in the hallway, Applejack wondered if it _did_  matter that Matte was born as a colt as far as changing and things like that went. She decided that whether or not it mattered, she just didn’t care. It didn’t bother her any, and while she would understand if Matte wanted privacy, if she was okay with it, then so was Applejack.

She thought back on that day, years ago. Waiting outside her door, sure that she’d just get a good laugh out of what she saw on the other side. Now she knew better, but in a weird way that amounted to knowing _less_. She had no idea what to expect from her friend once the door was opened. Would she look like a filly, or somewhere ‘in between’, as she had called it? Would Applejack get the same feeling that she had years ago? That feeling of ‘something else’ that had stuck with her for so long?

“Er, you can come in now,” Matte’s voice called through the door, so Applejack pushed it open.

Matte Pallette stood waiting for her, with no trace of any emotion other than worry on her face. She was wearing a fancy purple and blue dress that one of Applejack’s relatives in Manehattan had gotten her, and she had made use of her longer mane to style it in an elegant wave. She didn’t look like a filly – she looked like a mare. She looked like the type of mare whom Princess Celestia herself would invite to tea.

It dawned on Applejack that Matte was waiting for a reply. She shook her head to free herself of stupor and smiled as she approached Matte. “You look beautiful.”

Matte giggled and let a look of relief wash over her. “Thank you, but you’re just saying that.”

Applejack shook her head. “If you think _I’m_ gonna have ponies linin’ up to date me, take a walk through Ponyville dressed like _that_.”

“Oh, well…” Matte looked nervous, and Applejack frowned as she realized what she said.

“I didn’t mean… Of course, ya don’t have to let anypony know about this side of you until you want to. _I’m_ not tellin’ anypony.”

Matte smiled again. “Oh, thank you Applejack. I don’t know where I’d be without you, truly! Who even needs romance when I have a friend like you!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. They’d had more than enough sentimentality for one day. “Okay, so what’s next? I got a bunch of these fancy duds over in Manehattan if ya wanna try somethin’ else.”

They must have spent hours just going through Applejack’s clothes. And yet strangely enough, she didn’t really mind. She still really didn’t get the appeal of it, but she loved the way Matte’s eyes would light up at a new idea. And while she was initially embarrassed, it only took a few dresses before she stopped making Applejack wait out in the hallway.

Since they hadn’t told Matte’s parents that she was gonna eat with the Apples, she had to leave before dinner time. Applejack stopped her before she could leave to tell her she should take one of the dresses home with her.

“But I couldn’t possibly, they’re yours.”

“And I’ll never wear a one of them,” Applejack replied. “I want you to have it.”

Matte hesitated another moment before she caved in. They tucked the dress away in a bag and threw an old sheet on top. If anyone saw it, she could just say it was for costume design.

“Thank you, for everything,” Matte said on the way out. “Your acceptance means the world to me, and then the dress…”

Applejack just smiled. “Aww, shucks. Didn’t I tell you already? They look a whole lot better on you than they do on me.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was only a day later when Matte Pallette came back to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was out doing some chores around the yard when she walked up. Initially, Applejack was happy to see her friend, but one good look at Matte’s face gave her cause for concern.

“Howdy, Matte. What’s goin’ on?”

Matte opened her mouth to talk, then closed it. She turned down to the saddlebag she had with her and used her magic to open it. “I’m sorry, I… I’ve ruined your dress.”

She pulled out a dress, which seemed to have been torn apart and then stitched back together. That didn’t concern Applejack nearly as much as Matte’s voice did, though. Her voice was lower than usual. Not, Applejack suspected, as low as it could be if she wasn’t elevating it, but low enough to show she wasn’t putting forth as much effort.

“Oh, no problem,” Applejack said, smiling as she took the dress in the hopes that enough positivity would get Matte out of whatever problem she was having. “You can have another one. I have so many of the darn things.”

Applejack was the only one who laughed. “Thank you, but that really won’t be necessary. I… I’ve decided not to do this.”

The dress fell out of Applejack’s hooves and onto the ground. Matte had seemed so happy before, what could have brought about this change? “But why?”

“It was fun,” Matte said sadly. She ignored the dress lying on the ground. “But I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not. I… I’m a colt, Applejack. That’s all I’ll ever be, just some messed up colt who wishes he could be something else.”

“That’s not true!” Applejack said, more forcefully than she’d meant to. “Or, well… it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to be a colt.”

“Oh, Applejack. I wish everypony were like you. But that’s not how everypony else will see it. Last night I worked on the dress. I made a few alterations so it would fit better, and I was so happy with it. Then I tried it on, and I had some silly fantasy of going downstairs and showing my parents who I am. But… it wasn’t the same. When I was with you, I felt like I really was a filly. But when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a colt in a dress. I couldn’t stand the sight, and I… well, I wound up ripping it apart before I even realized what I was doing. I was up late into the night trying to fix it, but it’s far beyond my skills.”

Applejack frowned down at the dress on the ground. From the looks of it, she’d really done a number on the thing. “I don’t care about the dress, I care about you.”

Matte smiled a little. “Unfortunately, these are the only choices I have been given: I can be a colt, or I can be a colt who pretends he’s a filly. And I will not live my life pretending.”

“Unless you’re pretending to be a colt,” Applejack said with a frown. “Ever since I’ve known you, ya always felt like you were tryin’ to be somethin’ you’re not. Until yesterday. I honestly believe that the filly I was with yesterday is the real you. Not the colt you were when we first met, and not the ‘in between’ that you’ve been lately.”

Matte looked into her eyes as she talked, then let out a small chuckle. “You know, you really make me believe what you say. If I had somepony like you around all the time, well, maybe then I could go through with this whole thing.”

Applejack walked over to her and put a foreleg around her shoulders. “Shucks, you make it sound like I’m gonna leave you again. I promise that this time, I’ll be around to help you see this through.”

Matte rested her head against Applejack’s shoulder. “I guess I could keep trying. If you’ll be there with me.”

“Every step of the way.”

“Thank you so much. I couldn’t imagine doing this all on my own. It was a nightmare before you came back. I guess it’s like you said, I really must be a rarity. No one could possibly understand what this is like because there’s no one else like me.”

Applejack smirked. “Well, that ain’t quite what I meant. I mean, sure, bein’ rare can have its downsides, but doesn’t that also make things more special? You’re like a precious gem, or a flower that only grows on some mountaintop somewhere.”

Matte giggled, sounding much more like her normal self. “You really are the most charming pony I’ve ever met. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re coming on to me.”

Applejack looked into her radiant blue eyes and smiled. She decided to completely ignore the prompt, at least until she knew what the answer was herself. “Besides, being rare isn’t the same as being the only one. I may not be the exact same as you, but I kinda get where you’re coming from.”

Matte put her hooves to her mouth. “Oh dear, you were saying something about that yesterday and I completely dominated our whole day! I’m terribly sorry, Applejack. Please, tell me what you mean.”

Applejack grinned and scratched her neck. “Well, it’s not that big of a deal, and I don’t exactly have a good answer for you. I just… well, what happens when you don’t feel like a colt, but you kinda don’t feel completely like a filly either?”

Matte tilted her head to the side. “I, er, I can’t say I know.”

Applejack sighed. “Yeah, me neither.”

Matte took hold of Applejack’s hoof, and she felt her heart beat slightly faster. Before she realized it, she was looking at her friend’s smiling face and smiling back. “Well, I do know one thing: You are an absolutely, positively wonderful pony, and whatever else you are we can figure out together. Every step of the way.”

Whether it was from something about what Matte had said, or a result of looking into her eyes for so long, Applejack started to blush. She quickly turned away. “Thanks. I gotta say, I can’t imagine what I’d do without a friend like you either, Matte.”

Matte turned away as well. “Matte Pallette. I do wish my parents had chosen a different name. I never really wanted to be Matte, even when I didn’t understand why. It’s such a dull name, fitting for a dull colt.”

“But not for a dazzling filly,” Applejack said, causing Matte to smile. “Well then, what should I call you? I could just say ‘sugar cube’, ‘cause you’re so sweet.”

Matte giggled. “Well, you can call me that if you want, although I can’t say I’d want to be known as sugar cube to everypony else.”

They both thought for a moment, before turning to one another. “Rarity?” the said at the same time, causing them both to laugh.

“Rarity,” she said, testing out the name. “You know, I do kind of like the sound of it. But Rarity what?”

Applejack shrugged. “What about just Rarity? Only one name, like a princess.”

Rarity laughed, before realizing Applejack was serious. “Oh, well… I’ll think about it. I suppose there is a sort of allure to it, isn’t there? Rarity. One name says it all.”

“There ya go,” Applejack said. She stood up, and Rarity did the same. Before Applejack could lead them to the farmhouse to get Rarity a new dress, she found herself being once again surprise hugged. She didn’t mind.

“If I keep saying ‘thank you’ all the time, you’re going to get sick of hearing it,” Rarity said. She giggled and nuzzled against Applejack’s neck. “Although I’m going to anyway. Thank you so much, Applejack. You truly have made me one happy filly.”

It was the way she said ‘filly’ that did it. Her voice fluctuated, as she was clearly excited to use the word in description of herself. Applejack thought it was just the cutest thing she could imagine, and planted a kiss on Rarity’s cheek before she could think better of it. They both blushed as they walked to the farmhouse.

A lot of things in Ponyville never seemed to change, but a lot of other things had. There was a new bakery in town. Applejack’s baby sister wasn’t a baby anymore. And her friend Matte Pallette had become her friend Rarity.

“Hey look! A frog!” Applejack said.

Rarity shrieked and ran away.

Then again, some things would never change. Rarity was the same amazing friend that she had always been, and that was just the way Applejack liked it.

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a birthday present for [Dessert](http://sweetponytreat.tumblr.com/), this story is sort of an unofficial prequel to their story [And 1000 Kisses](http://www.fimfiction.net/story/315934/and-1000-kisses), which I very much recommend giving a read ^_^


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